


Shaking Universe

by Pathrycja



Category: Mr. Robot (TV)
Genre: Angst, Destiny, Hacking, M/M, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-02-26 08:54:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21847039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pathrycja/pseuds/Pathrycja
Summary: You can run away from destiny. You can deny your desires. But for how long?The things you have that you do are what you really want?
Relationships: Elliot Alderson/Tyrell Wellick
Kudos: 13





	Shaking Universe

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the first chapter that I wrote completely spontaneously. I still don't know in what direction this story will go. This chapter is more like a representation of the past, such an outline.  
> But this will definitely be the story between Elliot's and Tyrell's bond.  
> I will probably show more interaction between them than was shown in the series.
> 
> Feel free to leave comments. And I hope you will enjoy this.

Tyrell was dangerous. From the beginning. I knew that I should never start working with him, but each of us has some weaknesses. I was to protect Elliot from them and from pain. But despite all intentions, sometimes I could not prevent everything. And definitely in this case, I failed.

Me and Elliot were good at hacking people, very good. But we were not the only ones. Tyrell sometimes wasn't sure what he was doing, but when he knew his goal, it was hard to stop him.

I thought I knew everything about him and had control over him. I was so sure of that.

And before I knew it, he hacked us. And I couldn't stop him.

He became a threat to Elliot. Because the darkest things I was hiding from Elliot were in Tyrell's hands and he could use it at any time. And that was my biggest fear.

Since then, I had to be even more careful, control everything so that the truth would not come out. Despite the fact that Tyrell asserted his good intentions, I couldn't trust him. We couldn't trust him.

However, every time these piercingly blue eyes tried to break through our firewall…

I was afraid that Elliot finally figure out something, see what he shouldn't.

Sometimes I felt remorse. Over time, I began to doubt my plan. It occurred to me that unaware I could hurt Elliot even more. But at the very end I never left him. So everything that happened had to have a purpose, or at least I was hoping for it.

I just didn't want to make things worse.

***

I remember our first meeting. There was something naively human and prosaic about it.

I was so absorbed in my emptiness that all I saw was what he wanted me to see. But in his eyes I saw something familiar, something I couldn't name. A reflection of my own eyes?

But from that look, I felt a shiver. As if my body felt pleasure, feeling that look on me.

At that moment, I didn’t realize that our fates would unite. But since then I have felt that somehow our psyche have merged.

When I lost him for the first time. I was completely terrified. I was afraid that I was the reason for what happened, it was my fault. I was so lost in my world that I wasn’t aware of what surrounded me. I realized the consequences of being around me. I was not good. And yet, despite this, he was still on my side. Wasn’t it too beautiful?

Then we were lost in the fight against chaos. We've always been apart. But each of our meetings was significant.

I didn't understand what he saw in me. He said we were gods. But did that make any sense? He claimed that we were equal, that we were the same. But I never wanted to agree with him.

Maybe agreeing with him was too terrifying. Maybe it was supposed to open a door that should not be opened. Maybe not yet.

But every time we saw each other, something changed in the air, as if we were going to a different dimension. Where the world looks quite different. Where we are not necessarily gods but we are free. And we don't have to hide anything. Where we don't have to be afraid of the truth.

And when he touches me, I don't feel fear. His every touch is meaningful and soothing. I know he won't hurt me.

Finally, there was such a moment that I felt safe with him. I felt safe being myself. My darkest version of myself. Because he seemed to accept it all.

And he wasn't afraid of me. He wasn't afraid of what I do. He accepted every part of me. Even when I couldn't do it myself.

The saddest thing is that most of the time, I wasn't aware of it. Not fully.

Was I that ignorant? Was I that fucked up?

My pain was not special. Each of us carried pain. I was so selfish.

Vera interrupted the whole tale. He opened the forbidden door for me and I just walked in. The bubble in which I lived irrevocably burst. I felt lonely like never before in my life. Vera couldn't stop it. He was not the answer.

But somewhere deep down, I knew. I knew there was a person who was the answer.

But I was still too blind. Too stubborn.

I denied these obvious things. But I was already like that. Sometimes I needed a strong slap to wake up.

And then, when we were in that woods, I was terrified. I was fucking terrified. So I chose the easier way. I chose to ignore and block everything that screamed inside me.

And we don't realize how little time we have until it hits us. And it hit us hard. When I was finally able to bear it all. Free what I've been blocking for so long.

Within a second, everything changed.

When I saw the blood on his shirt, the whole world swirled in front of my eyes.

I wanted it to be a dream. But the cold and pain was too real and devastating.

It was too late.

And suddenly I didn't want him dying. I realized how much I needed him. I have always needed him.

He was better than me. He was able to sacrifice everything for me. And I didn't even deserve it.

Suddenly it was easier for me to accept that I didn't deserve him. And that's why fate is taking him away from me now. I deserved to suffer again.

Was it so hard to admit how I feel about him?

Why couldn't I fight? Why was I so useless?

I felt tears running down my cheeks. They were both so cold and hot that they burned a hole in my soul.

My heart became so heavy that I felt it fall through the earth.

"Tyrell... I can't let you die." Blurted out of my mouth.

I felt my head spinning.

I wanted to catch him and not let him go… But my body refused to obey me.

When he answered;

"I'm just gonna go for a walk…"

I believed him. I believed him that it was not over. Just like that. It wasn't a goodbye.


End file.
